The Source of Strength
by Mikazukino Hikari
Summary: A series of one shot fics based around strength and viewing those around us.
1. Each Other's Strength

Uh, this is just a one-shot fic. Inspired by reading "Beautiful Alone" by Ekai Ungson, which actually has very little to do with this story. Instead it has to do with her final author's note.  
  
Anyway, this is my dedication to the love between Syaoran and Sakura. Not the surface love that I see in a lot of fics, but the truer kind that lurks behind what is never said. It also is my dedication to poor Sakura, who has had, I think we should all admit, a rough life.  
  
So read it and if you enjoy it, review!  
  
The Source of Strength  
  
She sat alone. She really was never alone. Not really. Everyone was always there, standing around her, protecting her from all the evils of the world she might encounter. She was relatively sure that they were harbouring her naiveté as if it would block out any of the pains that growing up and old and maturing would do. She didn't blame anybody really. Rather the opposite. She loved them and was grateful at how much care they put to her. But even with as much love as she received from them and as much as she herself felt for them, she wondered how long they would treat her like a child.  
So Sakura sat alone in the infamous park where so much had happened to her. She sat as the heavens poured down their worst upon her. Her legs were bent at the knee so she could rest her weary head on them. Her clothes were soaked through and hadn't given up much of a fight to not become so. But they were simple summer wear clothes, nothing of Tomoyo's more than durable creation. There was nothing special about them that would protect her from herself.  
And she sat in the open, giving herself to the full fury of the storm. She couldn't see more than a couple feet in any direction the storm was so intense. Lightening occasionally struck over the darkened clouds but that was nothing to her. She just wanted to sit. The madness around her, the absolute and unrefined chaos made her feel a little better.  
It made her feel like perhaps she could survive by herself. Without anyone there to watch after her. Without two guardians bound by oath and something more to protect her with their own lives. Without a brother who treated her almost as a lover in his jealousy. Without a father who always smiled at her silly and incompetent mistakes. Without Tomoyo always watching from the sidelines and giving hope where hope was needed. Without Syaoran. Without her pillar of absolute strength who she would give anything for.  
Syaoran. Syaoran who had done an impossible amount of things for her. Who had saved her time after countless time. Who had taught her by harsh example what she needed to be. Who had never failed to save her those many times she had neared death. Syaoran who loved her. Who was her other half. Destined to her, dictated by the stars she so carefully represented. Syaoran who was her everything and who she was most afraid of at times.  
Everyone always talked about her sunshine disposition. How she never let the greater things in life bear her down. How she never gave up. How she tried so hard and persevered until everything was said and done. Everyone talked about her innocence and how she could make everything all right by simply uttering a short phrase. Everyone swore up and down that she was nearly perfect.  
A perfect child perhaps.  
But the time had come and gone for her childhood. It had left when she opened a weird book in her father's basement. It was gone the moment she accepted the Wand of Capture. Perhaps no one had ever noticed that. Her smiles had always been so genuine. Maybe they hid the truth from everyone and let them believe that everything was really fine. That she was still the same person she had always been.  
Yet it just wasn't true. For too long at too young an age she had had to bear the weight of so much on her slim and weak shoulders. People had been getting injured because of her simple action. She had to work day and night, keeping no normal hours, to protect everyone. To protect people she didn't know. To keep safe those she did. Too soon did she have to face the weight of her whole community sent to the worst of hells. Too young did she have to fight single-handedly against the whole of the world disappearing before her eyes. She had fought with everything she had in her. She had fought with every ounce of her being.  
And it had been enough. But only barely.  
But would it have been enough if she had been alone? Would the scars and burdens she still bore be made worse if no one had been there to guide her, to hold her up? She didn't know. In her heart she hoped and believed that she could have done it without them. She wanted to believe that for all her power and for all that the man she loved most still envied her on a minor level, she wasn't a weak creature. That she didn't need to be around people. She didn't need to be coddled.  
Yet, she was afraid this was very much the case.  
Years had passed. She was an adult now. Yet, never had she struck out by herself. Never had she faced the odds all alone. Never had she had to see what it would be like to get out of a horrible situation all by herself. She had always had someone standing behind her, helping her. She had never been truly tried.  
She was deathly afraid that she just wasn't enough. She was afraid that soon people would realize she just wasn't what she cracked up to be. That one day she WOULD be all alone and would be lost, unable to defend herself. She would be defeated easily and that would be the story of her. She would be gone. Gone and lost because she was weak and had to rely on others.  
But it was so hard not to. She was so tired. She just had too much to bear. Or so she had told herself when she was still a child, still young in age if not mind. But she was full grown now. She should have to shoulder her own strengths. She was afraid of being weak but staying in a situation that allowed her to was the worst way to become strong.  
She didn't know when she had decided she was going to leave. Perhaps the idea had just come upon her so gradually that it had no real beginning. But it had a finish. She had quietly made preparations with her bank account and made hotel reservations in Tokyo until she could find somewhere else she needed to be. To become strong. And now the time was finally upon her.  
Now she was leaving. Leaving everything she loved and new behind. Perhaps when she came back she could be strong. She could be the pillar of support that everyone had been to her.  
She could be worth what everyone thought of her.  
Sakura stood up slowly, moving with precise and contemplated movements, as if the world were watching. Closing her eyes she tilted her head to face the down pour and let it wash away the few tear tracks that had made their way down her cheeks as she had sat. With determination she lowered her head, faced forward and took her first step to her new journey, opening her eyes to what she would have to face.  
And stopped short.  
Standing just within sight through the harsh rains, Sakura could make out the figure of the one it hurt to leave most. The one person she had hoped to avoid until she was safely out of town, leaving only letters behind. Syaoran. He was staring at her, panting slightly. He had obviously been running to find her. His always uncontrollable hair was glued to his face, barely fringing into his amber eyes. Eyes that looked straight into hers. Full of pain.  
For a moment they just stared at each other before he rushed to her and grabbed her upper arms in his strong hands. The grip, though desperate, was not a harsh one. It didn't hurt her in the slightest. He would never hurt her.  
"Syaoran, what are you doing here?" she asked, worried. Had something happened?  
"I was at your house...answered the phone...asked for confirmation...about a hotel room in Tokyo...for Kinomoto Sakura," he stuttered, the words coming out stumbled out one on top the other full of confusion and hurt.  
Sakura just stared at him, unable to think of what to say.  
"Why are you leaving me? Did I do something wrong?" he asked at last.  
Instantly she felt horrible and brought up her hands to caress his cheeks. "No, Syaoran. You did nothing wrong. I did."  
"What could you have done? You don't do anything wrong. You are Sakura!" he babbled, desperately clinging to her. "Why are you leaving, Sakura? Tell me!"  
"It's something I have to do, Syaoran. I promise I'll be back though. I just have to do this. I need you to understand. I had to understand when you went back to Hong Kong for so long. I need you to understand. Please."  
Syaoran stared down at her pleading eyes. His eyes were completely unreadable and for a moment she was afraid he wouldn't let her go. That he would make her explain herself. But at last he nodded and stepped away from her. A sort of lost look flitted over his features as she stepped past him. She could feel him turn to watch her leave, his eyes steadily staring into her back.  
She was just about to fade into the rain when he grabbed her arm again. Almost violently he turned her to face him. Before she could speak he captured her mouth in a passionate kiss. It was devouring, desperate. She clung to him, savouring a last moment before she left. At last she pulled away and tried to break free of his grasp but he wouldn't let her.  
"No! I can't let you leave, Sakura," he panted.  
"Why not? Why can't you let me leave? I need to go!" she pleaded.  
"You can't go! If you go, I'll.... I can't live without you here Sakura!" he nearly shouted. His voice full of longing and desperation. "You are my sun in the morning, the air I breathe, the moon at night and the stars that lead my way through life," he began, babbling. Desperately searching for the right words to show just how much she meant to him. "You are my very life! My soul! I need you! Without you...I am weak. I'm just nothing without you. You are my strength. Please, god, please don't leave me," he begged at last. Sinking to a depth of desperation he had never reached before in his life. His pride gone if only for to prove his point.  
Sakura stared at him with wide eyes as he finished his plea. He was panting, his breath coming in great uneven gulps. And the look in his eyes. He seemed so desperate. As if someone told him that he was about to die in mere moments and he was begging for his existence. She had never seen him like this before.  
In all the years she had known him, in all the years they had loved each other, he had never shown her something like this. He had always been open and honest about his love for her. Always telling her as much as she wanted to hear it how he adored her. She had never thought otherwise or had any reason to doubt. But in all those years she had wondered just why he loved her so much. What was it about her that he loved so much, so unerringly?  
And as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his in a kiss even more impassioned than the previous, a kiss full of promise and relief, she knew. All those years she had looked upon him as her guiding light and the pillar to lean on, he had seen her the same way. She was to him as he was to her. They were each others strength and each was weak without the other.  
Sakura finally understood how strong she was.  
  
(A/N: wow. My little written in twenty minutes out of pure inspiration and delirium story got 4 reviews in less than a full day. I am honoured. And since I had originally planned to reedit when I had found my brain and English skills once more, I figured I would post commentary to my reviews. That and discuss what the semantics of this story were so as to hopefully answer questions before they are asked.  
  
The Storm: Uh, most of my stories have storms in them. I think it's because I live in a place where is rains a lot. However, there was a purpose to this story having a really harsh storm. First, because sitting alone in a storm always shows a sense of desperation. No one with an ounce of sanity sits in a storm without some reason for being there. Second, because utter chaos can frequently bring out the most interesting parts of a persons mind. Which this whole story is, but I'll address that after this. And Third, because when a storm is really heavy, visibility is at a minimum and I wanted that. Sakura was in a small world where no one could see her. She was in essence alone with herself.  
  
Oh and Hitokiri-tomoe-san: It would have been completely possible for her to travel to Tokyo in a storm from Tomoeda because Tomoeda was always made out to be a suburb of sorts to Tokyo. She would have gone by train. Not plane. Grammar: This is the kind of story I write that would make any and all of my English teachers want to beat me. Sentence fragments everywhere. But all grammatical errors that are still left in there (because I fixed all non matching tense errors already) are intentional.  
  
The Point: This is not a narrative really. This is Sakura's mind. That's why everything is jumbled around and there are points brought up that are never actually detailed on. It is just supposed to be her thinking. And if anyone can remember their thought processes while they are upset then you would realize that it's close to the format of this story. It's just here and there and everywhere without real connection. So any incontinuity is also intentional as well as a few lines that are never really explained.  
  
Syaoran's cheesiness: This was changed a little from the original draft because, well, I wrote this at 4 am. I didn't have everything like I wanted it. BUT there is a point to it. He is being overly cheesy and overly sappy in a degree that most people would call 'surface love'. But that's if you take it from context. If you realize that Syaoran is NOT the sort of person to just out and out beg for something like that. Not the kind of person who could fully and easily express himself no matter how much he loved her, then you would realize that this is a true sign of how much he loves her.  
  
Anyway, thanks for reading this. Perhaps I'll put up a few more one shots. Who knows.  
  
And thank you Hitokiri-Tomoe-san for your wonderful review. I'm glad you think I weave words well. I think it's the only thing I can do well some I'm glad other people can appreciate them.) 


	2. Essential

YAY! Fic in celebration of my B-day! Or perhaps not quite yet! I may write another one before then if I'm in the mood. Either way, I was inspired to write this and so thus I did. I will probably continue to post different one-shots in this length with a similar theme of strength in all of them. Or something like that.  
  
Anyway, enjoy!  
  
The Lotus Blossom  
  
Li Mei Lin looked around briefly before smiling and shaking her head in humourous exasperation. Sakura was late again. With a sigh, she headed over to the park swings and sat down comfortably. This was a park full of memories. It had laid witness to many feats of strength and emotional outbursts. It was a symbol of her childhood just as much as Wei had been. Back in the days when she called Sakura Kinomoto and treated her with a haughty disdain at first and then with the careful friendship which grew into the loving trust they had now.  
Though, even to this day, Mei Lin wondered if she would have continued calling her Kinomoto to this day if she hadn't shared a last name with her now.  
Li Sakura. A true Li, even if not by birth. She was adored by all the clan, Mei Lin no exception. But who could not adore her? She was...perfect.  
Back in the days of their youth, Mei Lin had learned that the hard way. It had taken her some time to overcome the bitterness she felt towards the beautiful Card Mistress, even after they had become fast friends. Sakura was, well, Sakura was everything. She was the purest of souls and the most perfect person Mei Lin could ever imagine being.  
She was also incidentally better than Mei Lin at almost everything. The red eyed girl had not taken this realization well or at all quickly. But it was true. Even on the first day of their meeting, Mei Lin realized that she was not competition for the cute girl fated to capture the Cards.  
Gymnastics, running, sports, things which Mei Lin had always excelled, second only to the man she had always adored, Sakura did easily. She was beautiful and sweet. She fit into every situation with smile and ease, not caring if she were on top of the tallest building or trapped in a cave.  
Not if there was a Card.  
And that Sakura held over Mei Lin most of all. Sakura was the most powerful sorceress in the entire world. Mei Lin was without magic. It was a drastic difference. Even in later years they managed to find some small traces of magic in Tomoyo's veins, not surprising considering her kinship to the Card Mistress. Mei Lin was the only one who knew the secret who had never had magic.  
It had made her bitter. She was second best to Xiao Lang peaceably but becoming third in everything mad her hurt. She had never been good enough. She had never been special. Everything she did well, Sakura did better. Everything ingenious she did, Sakura had thought up. Every time she had helped save the day, it was at Sakura's urging.  
Sakura was the driving force behind those days. She was perfect and sweet in her perfection.  
Ultimately, that is what assuaged Mei Lin's bitterness. Long after she had become friends with the dense girl who still seemed to see so much more than anyone ever could guess, she had held on to that trace of bitterness. Until one day that same object of attention turned to her and smiled her amazingly beautiful and entrancing genuine smile and said something Mei Lin would never forget.  
"I'm so glad you are my friend, Mei Lin-chan! You are so much stronger than I am! I couldn't have done all that I have nor be where I am now without you. Thank you!"  
Mei Lin had stared at the honey haired girl in awe for a moment. If it had been anyone else, Mei Lin would have mistrusted the words, searched in them for a hidden barb, hidden poison. She would have understood them to the opposite and felt the worst of pains and sarcasm. But it was Sakura.  
Sakura needed her. Even if she really didn't, Sakura thought she did and found strength in her presence. In that there was no greater gift Mei Lin could have received from her dear friend.  
And so, it was that as she sat on that swing, lazily swooping back and forth, she merely laughed as Sakura hurried towards her, looking worn and obviously rushed.  
"I'm so sorry, Mei Lin! Syaoran wouldn't let me leave for the longest time! Said he had a bad feeling about today."  
"Tell that husband of yours he can stick his bad feelings-"  
"Mei Lin!"  
The black haired woman laughed. "Alright. Anyway, I expected you to be late anyhow. I swear, Sakura, you should work on being on time!"  
"I will," she giggled. "Are you ready?"  
"Of course I am! You just have to promise that you won't take this up and become ten times better at it than I am!"  
"I could never be ten times better than you at anything, Mei Lin! Still, thank you so much! I just couldn't do without you!"  
The ruby eyed lady just smiled and waved it aside. And thus they began, in that very park where Mei Lin had proved her one asset so many years ago, she began to teach Sakura the only thing she was truly better than her at. Gladly.  
  
A/N: I was inspired to write this after reflecting on Mei Lin. She really is this wonderful and talented girl. But she always came in second to Sakura in everything but martial arts. And I felt sorry for her. She was so good about it too. She still became friends and helped Sakura get her man.  
So thus this is dedicated to her. A mental perspective of what I think Mei Lin feels towards Sakura. It's not really about Mei Lin finding strength, because she is already this amazingly strong person. But rather, about her understanding that you don't have to be the best at something to be thought important and essential to someone who is. Everyone needs their friends to help them and everyone is valued to someone else.  
And Mei Lin is loved and treasured by Sakura.  
But I think we all know that Sakura would somehow end up being better at Martial Arts than Mei Lin. Still, yay Mei Lin! I'll probably get around to writing another one shot about her. I really love her char. 


	3. The Background Singer

Look! I'm posting something! Long time, ne? Anyway, just another short. Hopefully I'll be putting a couple more up soon. But who knows. Enjoy!

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**The Background Singer**

She was always the quiet one. The subtle force that moved through everyone's life, making suggestions here and there and being open to have someone cry on her shoulder when the need called for it. As it so often did. She was the one who everyone sought when they just needed to sit and think, to hear someone else tell them what they already knew, but were too afraid to admit to seeing themselves. The calm voice of reason and porcelain smile.

It was a hard job.

Quietly, she leaned against the decaying slide that had once been the landmark of her youth. So much had happened in this small park. So much time had passed. There were rumours that they officials were planning to repair the ancient king penguin. Some wondered why bother, but she knew, just as they did, that the odd creation had seen too much to be torn down on principle. It was just as much a part of Tomoeda as the schools and roads were. If not more.

Silently watching and vaguely appreciated. It was an all too familiar ring. For years they had told her to come out of the shadows and stand in her own light. Her mother pushed for her to take up a modeling career like her dear Nadeshiko had. The same beautiful hair and striking good looks would be sure to take the world by storm. Her friends pushed her to take a singing career. She had been known since her very youngest days as being an excellent singer. But none of that really mattered to her.

She was happy, more or less, being the silent guide that everyone looked to for help, even if it was only in a calming unassuming way. She had adjusted to the fact that she would never be anything so spectacular in comparison to her dearest friends. She was just her. She didn't need the flashing lights and the attention. She didn't need to have everyone staring at her. It seemed silly. No, she was meant to be the helpful hand in the background. She knew that. She had always known that.

"Tomoyo-chan!" a cry came, grabbing her attention once more. "Gomen! I'm late again!"

"I would be rather shocked if you weren't," she replied as her dearest friend bent over to catch her breath. "Now what is so important that you wanted to meet with me here? Anything to worry about?"

"No! Never! Come on!" Sakura replied, grabbing her hand and pulling her without ceremony out of the park. Tomoyo followed behind with an amused look on her face as they went into the small wooded area where so many of their past adventures had taken their turn.

"Where are we going?" she asked, uselessly as she knew.

"Ah here he we go!" Sakura answered quickly, before shoving Tomoyo into a clearing.

She stumbled a bit before righting herself. Only to feel as if she had lost her footing again. In the small clearing, roughly twenty people had crowded with several balloons tied to some of the trees and in other people's hands. Strewn between two trees was a large banner that read "GANBATTE TOMOYO-CHAN!" Her mouth worked uselessly as she tried to speak.

Finally, Syaoran stepped forward and bowed. "It was Sakura's idea. She told us about your new job."

"Huh…?" Tomoyo replied, in her least articulate way. "What about my new job? It's nothing that spectacular…" she trailed off.

"No, perhaps not," Chiharu smiled. "But we think it's perfect for you."

"Nothing could be better," Meilin laughed.

"It's just being a guidance counselor," Tomoyo muttered, looking around at just how many people had shown up to this little party. "What's so special about that?"

A few people laughed before Sakura made her way to stand in front of Tomoyo and bowed low. She straightened and assumed the air of someone about to make a speech, which was always interesting around Sakura.

"Tomoyo-chan, everyone here has been helped by you at some time or another. Everyone here can remember a time when you shown light in the darkest times of their lives. And everyone here can remember that you never asked for thanks or anything in return but merely smiled and took it in stride. So, we are here to say, "Thank you, Tomoyo-chan, for being our guidance counselor when we needed you most."

"And," a voice from behind Tomoyo chimed in, causing her to turn and stare with wide eyes, "none of us could imagine anyone they think would be better for helping those who need it most, namely teenagers, other than you, who so perfectly helped all of us."

"We would be no where without you," Syaoran finished with a small smile.

Tomoyo couldn't help it anymore. She broke into tears and flung her arms around Sakura, hugging her tightly before being pulled into a hug by the man who had flown in especially to see her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and continued to cry and laugh at the same time.

When she had finally settled her turmoiled emotions, she turned to face everyone and laugh. "Thank you, everyone, thank you. None of you could begin to guess how much this means to me."

"We had to say thank you somehow, Daidouji," Meilin scoffed. "You have always been there for us after all."

"No," Tomoyo smiled. "You have always been there for me."

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(A/N: Not my best by any means. Perhaps I'll go back and edit it sometime soon. Hopefully, I'll post another few of these within coming weeks, too. Thank you to all the reviewers who commented on the two previous chapters. I'm glad that people like these little shorts. I'll try and keep them coming! Ja!) 


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